Cedar Point Confessions

I went to Cedar Point with my 62 year old mother on Friday. She got a slick full-color promotional piece in the mail from Cedar Point that informed her of a special rate for those 62 and older. For $9.95 seniors can enjoy the park for the entire day while others (like me) had to pay the “discounted” rate of $32.95. I think it is pretty clever of Cedar Point to tap into the senior population to entice their grown children into a day of fun at the park! I have to admit I had a great time. I forgot how much fun it was to ride all those rides.

The first ride we hit was the Corkscrew roller coaster. Just a short wait and mom and I were on the coaster. She looked fine until we went down the first hill and then she looked like she was on the verge of death. She never looked worse in her life! Then we twisted, turned and flipped upside down a few more times. She looked like she was going to pass out at one point and a wave of guilt came over me thinking about the fact that I might have killed my mother by taking her on this innocent thrill ride. I then realized she was conscious so I tried to coach her to yell because it makes things feel better in your stomach and she squawked out tiny little yell. (She had no idea that you gotta yell from the depth of your gut to make things feel better.) The ride screeched to a halt and I got the dirtiest look ever from my mom and she breathed an exasperated sigh. That deep breath convinced me she was still alive. (But I wasn’t so sure I would be after we got off that ride.) The ride really shook her up but then she smiled with glee when she realized she could brag to my sister about riding the Corkscrew and immediately got on the cell phone to call her. I dash off to get a cold drink for her because she was still a bit rattled.

After all that excitement I agreed to a super tame ride with her to calm her down. We did the Paddlewheel Excursion, a five minute slow boat ride around the river. (Thank God the Top Thrill Dragster ride was visible from this ride or I would have fallen asleep. That ride goes at 120 miles an hour and shoots straight up 480 feet into the air!)

Then we went to the water rides. Snake River Falls was the first water ride we did. It is like a roller coaster but with water. You get pulled up a hill in a little boat and then you leisurely float along in for a short while and then the next thing you know you are diving over a ledge straight down into the water and there is a BIG SPLASH. Mom and I got soaked and she couldn’t stop laughing. She loved it. Then you get off the ride and you can stand on the bridge and watch the next group of people come down the big hill. What you don’t know is that when they land in their BIG SPLASH everyone on the bridge gets completely drenched. Mom loved getting pelted by the big splash. We waited one more time to watch the next group of people come down but we were more over on the side of the bridge in hopes we wouldn’t get drenched. But we did get drenched and mom just couldn’t stop laughing. That was a fun surprise for me to watch mom get so much enjoyment out of this ride.

We decided to go on the Thunder Canyon ride and we both thought that was rather boring in comparison to Snake River Falls. You just float in a circular boat down the rapids until you get to the waterfalls and get drenched. Boring! I guess mom got a taste of the excitement and didn’t want the “baby rides” anymore. She needed the THRILL.

She said let’s pass up the Cadillac Car ride because it was too “boring” We got on the Waver Swinger to dry off. I remember enjoying this ride in the past but this time I just got nauseous from spinning in circles for too long. Mom felt the same way and we moved on. I rode the Iron Dragon alone and told mom it was rather tame so she joined me for a ride and once again I got a dirty look after the ride. She said this was worse than the Corkscrew. (I found this hard to believe the Iron Dragon doesn’t even flip you upside down like the Corkscrew so I just couldn’t understand how this was a more challenging coaster for her.)

We saw a few shows. They had an ice skating show that was fantastic and then we went to the Red Garter Salon for a beer, nachos and a Rock and Roll show. Mom liked it so much we saw the show TWICE! (I took off between shows to ride the Corkscrew one more time without her) She also let me ride the Raptor alone. It was a good thing too. She could have never handled this ride and I needed someone to hold my backpack. It was a win-win situation.

She was ready for one more coaster towards the end of the day. We went on Disaster Transport. It is an indoor coaster that is only 63 feet tall but most of the ride is in complete darkness. That was strange. She didn’t complain much about this ride and I couldn’t see the expression on her face during the ride so it was better than the others for me. Overall it was a GREAT day and we practically closed down the park. We never expected to stay so late either.