The Tawas Cottage Affair

I believe my boyfriend is having an affair with his cottage in Tawas, Michigan.

He is part owner of his family cottage and has been going there since birth. (42 years now) We've only dated exclusively about eleven weeks and he has been with "her" six of those weekends with little to no room for me. The cottage comes fully equiped with a phone and e-mail access yet the entire time we dated I've only gotten one call late at night while he was with "her". I should have known that an eleven week romance could never compete with a mistress of 42 years.

I understand the allure. I was once invited there. (I gently pushed for an invitation.) At the cottage you forget all your troubles and you become a kid again! You can't be reached easily, you can play all day and buffet meals are provided the entire time you are there. (since it is a private club they have a chef to prepare their meals.) This mistress treats him well!

I could not compete! Weekend after weekend he chose "her" and I was assigned a lesser day to meet with him. "How does Wednesday or a Thursday sound to you?" My thought: "Actually quite terrible!" I'm rather busy during the week but I held out hope that maybe things would balance out. I suggested him coming home early on Sunday afternoon from his mistress and he did once to attend a party with me (He was only two hours late!)

The following weekend I suggested he come home early on Sunday night and he said he prefered not to do this. Then I found out he wasn't going for a regular weekend. He took off Friday to spend an extended 3 day weekend with "her" and had no room in his schedule to come back early to spend time with me. He doesn't invite me regularly or freely to come to the cottage when I want. This man is keeping a secret and he is keeping me out.

Funny thing is that I've asked if there is another woman and he said there isn't (most of the gals at the cottage are in their 70-80's) and I created a mild stir by being there a few weeks ago. With folks whispering "Who is that gal with ...." If there was another women he would have never brought me there.

I asked if it would be o.k. to date other people for a while but he seemed concerned and had no interest in doing so. He said he wanted an exclusive relationship with me. I must confess, I really like this guy. He's handsome, rather sensible about most things and has many traits I'm looking for in a life-long mate. I was thrilled he said he really wanted to date me exclusively. However something just didn't feel right.

Then I asked two questions that revealed what I didn't want to hear.
1. "Would I see you most every weekend after October when the cottage closes?" and he said "Yes, I would spend most weekends with you."
2. "Have you ever had other girlfriends say they were frustrated with how much time you spend here away from them?" He said a hesitant "Yes"

The mistress was fully disclosed and sadness filled me.

Today I got my dignity back and I stopped our triangular affair. I'm now free to find a man who actually wants to spend time with me on the weekends. (Preferable a man without a cottage.)