Vacation - Tennessee Style

I just got back from vacation in Tennessee. I went there for a family reunion at beautiful Reelfoot Lake. It was great to see all the family.

I'm a Midwest gal and I'm pretty comfortable with it. I don't have a lot of "southern ways" in me. I do like southern cooking. I know fried foods are bad for you but I love fried chicken, fried potatoes, biscuits and gravy and I especially like bacon. O.k. I LOVE bacon!

I enjoyed the change of pace for a few days but I couldn't get cell phone reception and that was disturbing. I also like a having options. In a town with one stop light you have very little options. You take what they offer or you get nothing. I found Reelfoot Lake and Ridgely a wonderful place to escape to but not a place to live.

It was nice to spend two days in that area and then go to Memphis. What a fun town. I saw Graceland all alone. I’m not a fan of Elvis so it was extra boring for me but there were a few exceptions. I enjoyed the historical aspect of the home (built in 1939) but Elvis messed up the beauty of the home when he started to decorate it. There was one point on the tour I felt physically ill. Green shag carpeting on the walls was just too much for me.

The ONLY thing that made this tour more delightful was the surprise of seeing actor Anthony Edwards (from the T.V. show E.R.) in a tour ahead of our group. At one point he had to exit a room and had to pass by our group. He was very nice, he looked us in the eye and smiled and passed on by with his tour group. He had his sweet little daughter in his arms and he looked like any other tourist in the building until you saw his face. I asked someone in his group to confirm that was him and he did. Then I read on the Graceland web site that Anthony Edwards did tour the building on the 19th. The day I visited. Very cool! I only wish I could have personally told Anthony Edwards that seeing him made my tour of Graceland much more enjoyable. (I would have been nice to get a picture with him too)

My dad and his wife got into Memphis at noon and we went on a tour of the city. We were only going to be there for 24 hours so we had to make every minute count. We took a trolley ride and that was a fine way to see the city. I discovered the hotel where Martin Luther King was shot and saw the beautiful Orpheum Theater. We visited the site where Martin Luther King was shot and that was meaningful for me. I thought that hotel was torn down but now they have a Civil Rights museum in there. We were lucky enough to arrive during “free admission” time on Monday.

Then we visited Beale Street and had a frozen alcoholic drink and then decided to go on a Mississippi Riverboat tour and that was nice. I had a crazy idea that I wanted to hit at least 4 or 5 different restaurants while we were in Memphis. So the three of us went one place for one bowl of gumbo with 3 spoons and 3 ice teas, the next place was Pig with an Attitude for one ½ order of ribs and one beer, the next place was Blues City Café and we had one ½ order of ribs and one beer and 3 tamales and we ended up at the elegant Peabody hotel for one chocolate bread pudding (it was excellent) and three cups of coffee. We did see a lot of places and when you only order one entrée at each location for three people it all works out rather well. Of course, it was a Monday night and the street was pretty slow so they were lucky to get our business. We would have never done this on a Friday or Saturday night.

Beale Street was great but my dad kept bragging to people that I knew B.B. King. I met B.B. King in December of 2004 because he performed at the theater I work at but we aren’t exactly friends. I do have a picture of me with B.B. King that I’m pretty proud of but as mention before, I like being anonymous in a crowd and dad was drawing too much attention to me. We stayed at the Hampton Inn Medical Center and I thought it was the best place to be in Memphis. Not too expensive, just a few miles from downtown and you get a free breakfast. (Graceland is easy to get to from that location too)

After 24 hours of fun in Memphis I left for Alabama to see my dear friend Martin. We tour the The Shoals Theater. I have a passion for historic theaters and so does Martin so it was a great tour. We saw Helen Keller’s birthplace and W. C. Handy Birthplace, Museum & Library. We saw the only Frank Lloyd Wright home in the state of Alabama and we tried to find the Coon Dog cemetery but it was too far back in the hills of Alabama to find. It does exist because I found this web site: http://www.coondogcemetery.com/ Why anyone would have a “Coon Dog” cemetery is beyond me. I’ll give anyone who goes to look for this sight a suggestion: “Make sure the gas tank is full. You will drive on forever!”

I drove to Nashville for my flight home and experienced the worst flight of my life. Bad weather in Detroit delayed our plane several times. We were supposed to leave at 8:30 EST but our flight never took off until 10:30 EST. We got near Detroit and we were told we couldn’t land, too many planes needed in so we would have to wait. We circled Indy an hour until we needed to land to get more gas. Then we took off for Detroit, we got there just fine and taxied in and the pilot announced they didn’t have a gate for us and they weren’t real sure when they would have a gate for us. Everyone on the plane made grumpy noises about this and a few shouted out “Why can’t we go to another gate?”

We waited another 40 minutes, just long enough for the 4-year old at the front of the plane to throw up all over her mother. I just sat there inhaling the putrid smell of vomit and watching the mom scrape the barf out of her sandals. If only the airlines could have got us to a gate at the proper time we wouldn’t have had to witness all this! Our flight was scheduled to arrive at 10 p.m. EST, but with all those delays we didn’t get off that plane until 3:00 in the morning.

Then to top it all off there was a police offer standing at the exit area from the plane. Apparently the few passengers that yelled out “Why can’t we go to another gate” seemed frightening enough for the crew to call in a police officer. How frustrating, Southwest held us “hostage” all that time and they call in an officer because we voice our unhappiness. The police offer did nothing but stand there but it was enough to make a point. I’m going to think twice before I fly again.

The next day I treated myself to a little shopping at the new Ikea store in Canton, MI. It is a pretty cool place. I really didn’t need anything but their café is excellent and it is a fun place to people watch.

Maybe next time I should vacation closer to home.

Walter and Harriett Ash

I've been wanting to write this for a while to someone ... anyone willing to read!

There are two people who loved me deeply and really influenced my life. My grandma and grandpa Ash. Walter Ash (age 32) married Harriett Corwin (age 28) and was married for 54 years. They had one child name Donna and they loved her dearly. Donna married Joel Barnes and they had two children me and my sister Jennifer.

What makes my grandma so cool is she liked to stay up late and watch Johnny Carson and David Letterman with me. We would eat a bowl of ice cream and watch the shows and that was fun. (And fattening) She was always there for me and she made me feel like the most important person in the world. I enjoyed calling her and just chatting about her day. We would go out to lunch too and have so much fun talking and laughing.

When I was little and acting like a total "stinker" she would get mad and say "If you don't settle down I'm going to get out the ruler and paddle your little butt." She NEVER did this but I remember as a child thinking "Oh my gosh I've pushed her to this point and I better settle down." I wasn't afraid of getting hit with the little plastic dime store ruler, I just knew grandma was really upset and I knew I didn't want her to be upset anymore. She made me mind her because I loved her and didn't want to upset her. It was never motivated by fear.

One thing my grandma did when my sister and I were little is dress us alike. We really looked like twins. (We were 18 months apart) I don't know why she did this but I can't see the importance of making kids look alike. I think is important that each child has a sense of his/her own individuality. It never bothered me as child but as an adult looking at the pictures I see a lot of them with my sister and me in matching outfits. As an adult I find it strange.

My grandparents were my main babysitter as a child and I loved it. I always felt comfortable there. They had air conditioning and my family didn't so I LOVED to visit and spend the night in the summer in the cool air conditioning. I lived with my grandma and grandpa for a while when I was in my early 20's because they had a cool studio apartment upstairs. They designed this space for my mom when she was a teenager. It was a great space for escape.

My grandpa was rather quiet but he could be so funny sometimes. He showed that he cared about you by providing things for you. He owned a Shell gas station in Plymouth when I was growing up and whenever my parents went there to get gas he would always sneak a Hershey's chocolate bar to my sister and me. I loved to visit that station when I was a kid. He retired from there in the 1970's. As time went on he had to go into the hospital for different problems but I remember him in the intensive care unit one time and he asked me if I had enough gas in the car. He said if I didn't that I should use his credit card to get gas. He was rather sick but his thoughts were on how to care for me. His love was so apparent and I hope I have the chance to pay his kindness forward to another human being.

I found out from my mom that my grandpa was rather generous with his employees at the Shell station. At Christmas he bought gifts for his employees AND their wife and children. He tried to help his employees that were having trouble too. My grandpa loved the Civil War and had a whole room full of Civil War history books in it. Sadly he ended up selling them as he started to "out-live" his savings. He also loved to visit Civil War cemeteries and my mom told me stories of being dragged around to different Civil War sites when she was a kid. He loved baseball and watched every game. Which I didn't like when I was a kid. I wanted to watch cartoons and his game was getting in my way! As an adult I now have wonderful memories of the joy on his face watching his games.

My grandparents loved to take drives in the country and when I was kid I would go with them and I really enjoyed just driving around looking about at the scenery. I rarely do this anymore but it was relaxing and it always reminds me of my grandparents. (Because my mom and dad never had time to just drive around the area and enjoy the sights, they were too busy being parents and making a living.)

My beloved grandparents died on February 11th, 1995 and were buried together on Valentine's Day. (They got engaged on Valentine's Day) They were married 54 years!

My grandpa was in a nursing home and he died at 5:30 a.m. and my grandma heard about it and had a heart attack and died 3 hours later. We had a double funeral. It was tough to say good-bye to both of them but it was for the best. Neither of them had to see the other one dead. That was a blessing. (My grandma knew of my grandpa's death but never made it to the nursing home to say her final good-byes. She was actually preparing to go to the nursing home when she had her heart attack.)

These two people influenced my life in a very deep way. They showed me love and that is a most wonderful gift. That love carries me through life today.

Deep Dissatisfaction

I have a deep dissatisfaction with life.

I want something I can't have, I have something I don't think I want and I keep thinking” Life should be more exciting than it is!"

I wish I had a sense of purpose that made all things unsatisfactory in my life pale in comparison. I remember a time when I was a teenager and young adult. Life seemed full of excitement. So many new things to experience. It was great. Now that I'm approaching 40 everything seems so much the same. Things are rarely new.

Dating used to be fun and now it seems like one disappointment after another. You really want to believe something will work out but experience has proven time-and-time again that you should NOT put your hope there.

Once again, I'm on the verge of ending a new relationship. He is distant and unavailable when I most want him around. I don't believe there is anyone else he is seeing. I've gotten the impression HIS life is rather important to him and I just need to fit into it when it works out best for him. I don't like the arrangement.

My base rule is if a guy wants to date me he must contact me/take me out at least once a week. (If a guy can connect with me once a week he is not worth my time and affection.) I've been dating my current boyfriend for over a month now and I think we should see each other more than that. However, he is going to his lake cottage the entire 4th of July weekend and the following weekend. I'm NOT invited. This is lame. It would be nice to be invited up just for the day but it is very apparent he really doesn't need me that much. I need to be needed. I don't think it is too much to ask.

I've always heard about bitchy women who demand their man's time. I don't want to be one of them. I really believe that when you are in a relationship that you must have time apart to pursue your own interests and have your own identity. That makes things interesting. However, what is the proper about of space vs. time together that is the correct mix? There is no definitive answer here. It must be determined by each person and they must be confident enough to state their concerns and act accordingly. It appears I need to act because I am SO unhappy.

I know there has to be a man out there that really loves me and wants to spend time with me. Someone that encourages me and lets me knows they like me being in "their world". Someone who pursues me and lets me know they miss me. I don't think that is too much to ask for. I would offer the same to the person I care about. I've just lost hope that will happen for me.

So.... this is my life for the moment. I must accept the deep dissatisfaction and figure out how I will make things better. I can appreciate all I do have. And I do have a lot of good things in my life. However, I don’t have the one thing I want the most.

Should I even continue to hope?