Riding Bikes

Dave and I love to ride bikes. This is one of our favorite things to do together.

Aunt Dorothy

This is Dave's Aunt Dorothy. We visited her several times from 2006 to April 7, 2012 when she died. She was just a few days away from being 101 years old. (April 13th) The picture of her in the striped shirt is when she was 99 years old. The yellow shirt is what she wore on her 100 birthday celebration at the nursing home.

Four Year Anniversary

Dave and I will celebrate our four year anniversary this week. (This is a picture from our anniversary last year.) We are still very happy. I've changed jobs. I no longer work in a place with movie stars and entertainers. I'm working in academia now. I enjoy spending time with Dave and having a more peaceful and balanced life.

Famous People and Me

My job gives me the opportunity to meet famous people
from time-to-time.

Dr. John and me - Feb 2010


















Mitch Ryder and me - July 2010

I'm still around

I've not posted in a very long time and I honestly thought I would keep up with this. Well, we've been married for 2 1/2 years and I really feel married now. I've attached a goofy photo of us at my mom's house. We gave her a camera for her birthday and she was testing it out by taking our photo. I just got my first pair of prescription glasses so this is one of the first photos taken with me wearing my glasses. I think we look pretty married here.

Life has been good but it has been busier than I can ever remember as a single gal. It doesn't help that I have a two hour round trip commute to work every day. I've also joined Jazzercise and I workout 3-4 times a week. (that is 3 to 4 hours a week) I've lost 30 pounds since we got married. I did this by exercise and Weight Watchers. We enjoy bike rides in the summer too and that helps keep the weight down. I've been trying to get connected to my new community. We joined the Chamber of Commerce and I volunteer there and I also volunteer at a historic home (near my home) as a docent. I like history.

I have friends where I work that I'm trying to keep up with, then I've made a few friends in my new city and then I have friends from college I try to stay in touch with but I'm finding that I need more downtime and maybe I won't be able to see my friends as much. Bummer.

We've visited Seattle and Chicago since we've been married. I've been to Philly (for a girls weekend away) and San Antonio (for business) and Dave snowmobiles all winter. He joined a snowmobile club called Snomads. They are a great group of people.

Married life has been good. We would like a family and I was pregnant early in our marriage but I miscarried 1/2 way through the pregnancy and it has been tough to get pregnant again. We are looking into adoption.

I'm not going to promise I'll write again soon. We will just see what happens.

A Wedding Photo

I love this photo too because it shows off the beauty of my $75 wedding dress.

Wedding Photos I Love

Signing the legal documents after the ceremony

My Aunts looking at the ring

Creating a Wedding Without Going Broke

Anyone that used to read this blog must have thought I dropped off the earth when I got engaged. I loved to blog but once we got engaged I realized that I had to plan a wedding and I never knew how much work it would be. I've planned several large member events for work so I thought planning a wedding wouldn't be a problem.

However, a wedding is a different "beast" all together. This is an event that, in a way, defines who you are as a couple. So you start out determining what is important to you BOTH. We both wanted to have a Christian marriage so we knew we'd have it in a church somewhere. I'm Lutheran and he is Catholic and we determined that we would marry in Dave's church. I liked his priest and I like that the Catholic church requires you to go through marriage classes before you are married.

However the class we went to was for those in their early 20's and the class seemed very focused on reminding all of us what a big decision this is and such. Dave and I were in our 40's we understood this concept. We've seen our friends get married, then divorced and remarried again before we ever even had the chance to get married once! We dated lots of people and knew what we DIDN'T want, we both knew that marriage was WORK and COMMITMENT and we both had pretty well defined identities and knew what we wanted and needed in a mate. It would have been great to have a class targeted towards those couples who were older but they didn't.

One thing I want to add, before I go much further, is Dave was an actively involved groom. He lived a long time as a single guy and he knew what he wanted in life and how to get things done. I'm so glad I have a man who was "grown up" and could handle life. I've heard about younger grooms that have very little involvement in planning the wedding and just say yes to the gal. I've always wanted a man who was strong enough to stand up to me and tell me what he wants. It is not all about me!!! We visited way too many wedding vendors that directed their attention only to me or talked about "what the bride" wanted. (As though the groom wasn't even in the room and his thoughts didn't matter!) I had to keep reminding the vendors to talk to Dave as well as me.

The reception was something we had to work out a bit. I wanted something simple and inexpensive. However, when I talked to Dave he wanted a traditional evening wedding with dancing and drinking. We made a compromise to reflect both of our personalities. We had an evening reception for 80 people in a historic home in Farmington Hills, MI. It is called the Longacre House. Visit this site to view: http://www.gourmetexpressevents.com/longacre.html.

This house is owned by the city of Farmington Hills and their exclusive caterer is Gourmet Express. I liked this venue because it was exclusively ours for the night and it felt like having a reception at home, but in a really nice home. Our wedding party even had private sitting rooms upstairs and that was great. They had a big screen TV for the guys and a cute ladies room with a sofa and indoor patio area with lots of windows. We loved it.

The way I write this it all sounds SO simple but it wasn't simple at all. We spent so much time trying to find a venue to have our reception that we felt was a reasonable price, that was also centrally located to both of our families. Once we found the venue we had to determine the menu selection that was within our budget that still reflected who we are as a couple.

Dress color for the wedding party has to be determined. I really had no idea on what I would want but we settled on a wine colored dress. We had a historic home and a classic style wedding dress in satin so we wanted a classic color floor length dress in Satin.

Favors for the wedding and centerpieces had to be decided. We decided on match books and chocolates with potted ivy that folks could take home after the reception. We figured that folks would hold onto a match book from our wedding and remember the date for many years to come. Most of Dave's friends smoke and many of my friends like candles so matches were cheap and useful.

I went to pick up the matches and there was one of those "20 year old brides" with "mommy and daddy" picking up the tab for the wedding and when she heard I was picking up the matchbooks for our wedding she very rudely said "Mom we are NOT having matchbooks at the wedding." I wanted to say something to that gal but I thought, she is a young, spoiled brat that has NO idea that marriage is not about what expensive favors you give out at the wedding. I still love our matchbooks and we kept our wedding on our budget . I wonder if that gal is happily married?

We had to decide on the DJ and that was the easiest decision of all. We chose Mike Staff Productions. The entire purchase experience was great and there was no buyers remorse after the wedding either. I highly recommend using them.

The photographer was the most difficult buying experience of all. I recommend every couple take a long time exploring options and learning the pricing guidelines and policies of photographers. The pricing structure for most photographers we talked to was tricky and confusing. We ended up with Rawlinson Photography in Plymouth, MI and that was the worst buying decision of our wedding.

Our photographer, Kathy was great and if we could have just worked with her it would have been great. When you buy the services of a photography studio you want to meet the photographers that will shoot your wedding. You don't want an rude, pushy photographer at your wedding ---- it will ruin your day. However you also purchase the staff at the studio and you'll be dealing with them before and after the wedding.

We did not like the staff at the studio, we found one of them to be overly talkative and pushy and the other person was cold, quiet and pushy. They showed us pricing when we came in to book our wedding and we plugged that number into our budget but when we came to design our wedding album they mentioned that certain parts of our bill that had tax added to it and we had to pay this AFTER the wedding or they wouldn't give us our book. I've never purchased something at one price and then when I pick it up they said I owe about $100 more in taxes. Then she said she would have to charge us tax on our wedding CD with all our photos on it. We paid $600 for the rights to our wedding photos, meaning we could print them on our own. The way they give the photos to us is on a CD and she wanted to charge us tax on the $600 for our CD, which cost them maybe $2 or less. They could have been up front about that when they created our contract. We eventually got them to waive this fee.

When we asked the talkative staff person about these extra charges and why it was not explained earlier she ridiculed us by saying "It is absolutely clear in this document" My husband and I both have advanced degrees and successful careers, we are not stupid. We were offended that she ridiculed us because of their confusing pricing structure that was NOT explained in their contract.

We paid to have our wedding book designed by the studio, we thought they would sit with us and create a book we liked. This was not the case. You tell them what photos you like and they send those photos to a business in California to design. Our first draft of what the folks in California designed was awful. We spent two frustrating weeks designing a book that we loved on our own and asked the California studio to match our design. We removed a few photos from the book and added a few more in and Rawlinson said we would have to pay for the photos that we added. We were told we could pick 60 photos for the book and we never went over that amount but we found out later that if you want to trade photos out for other photos that they shot they will charge you $2 more a photo. Another hidden charge! We got them to waive this also.

Designing the book was the worst part of our entire wedding experience, we felt the customer service from the studio was awful. I encourage everyone to ask potential photographers how they handle putting the book together. I had another friend that told me that she booked a photographer and she thought she paid to have the book designed by them but when the wedding was over she was sitting at the computer designing her own book. She was also very frustrated. Make sure to ask if they design the book there or send it out, will you sit with them to design the book, what are the charges for changes and how many changes are allowed without incurring additional charges. If we could have sat with the designer and gave them our thoughts on what we liked and didn't like it would have been great. Instead we had to type up every change we wanted. It was awful.

There were also lots of little decisions we had to make for the wedding that drove us a little crazy and I would have never thought it was so complicated but it is. All this decision making helped us get to know each other better and gave us chances to compromise and deal with problems that came up. Marriage is fun but it is filled with problem solving and compromise. Planning a wedding for ourselves and paying for it ourselves made us a stronger couple and gave me a greater appreciation of Dave.

The $75 Wedding Dress

I got engaged in June 2007 and I found my dress in July 2007. Most gals have a dream wedding dress in their mind since they were a little girl and are willing to pay lots of money to make that dream come true. I had no "little girl" dream of what my wedding dress would look like and I sure wasn't willing to spend a lot of money on a dress I would wear once! I always thought a resale dress would be just fine but I didn't think such a shop existed until I found Once Again Bridal in Clinton Township, MI http://www.onceagainbridal.com/

Before I visited this shop I went to the upscale shops and David's Bridal and every store presented me with accessory items I didn't want. I always felt that they were doing whatever it took to increase my vision of what I should like on my big day (and in the process get me to buy much more than I needed). I looked at dress prices at these stores and was shocked, it wasn't a fun experience.

However, when I went to Once Again Bridal I found 7 dresses I liked and all of them were in the $300 range. On the way to the fitting room there was a dress that caught my eye, but it was in another part of the store, close to the register. It was so beautiful, in a rich cream color (I didn't want a bright white dress because I have a fair complexion), it had sleeves (I didn't want strapless and that is what most expensive stores offered) it looked pretty but comfortable and it had a long train. I wondered if it was in my size and it was! I tried it on with all the other dresses to see how it looked.

I knew I could afford any of the dresses I brought into the dressing room, and gave each style a chance, but the one I liked best was the one I found on the way to the fitting room. I asked why that dress was on a rack away from the others and the lady mentioned that the dress was on their sale rack. (I didn't notice the sign hanging above the dresses) I looked at the price tag and it said $150!!! I couldn't believe it. I then asked her to show me veils and she brought me a beautiful veil that matched the dress perfectly. I thought I could only afford a short veil but she brought a fingertip veil that looked so dramatic, lovely and best of all AFFORDABLE. This was the first dress shop where they brought me what I wanted and didn't start adding accessory items randomly. I felt very respected and good about spending money in this store.

The best part of all is when my mom went to purchase the dress we discovered that the dress actually cost $75. (Everything on the rack was 1/2 off) My veil cost more than the dress, it was $80. I love that dress and I don't want to part with it but I know I'll never wear it again. I debated if I should try to sell it or hold onto it. For $75 it is worth keeping around and I don't think I would be saying that if I "invested" a large amount of money on a dress. I'm glad I get to keep it. Once Again Bridal is the best.

Here is a photo of me in the store for my final fitting:

It's been a long time ....

I haven't blogged in a long time. I got engaged and everyday life got really busy. Planning a wedding and working full-time is a lot of work. Actually planning a wedding is a part-time job. I now understand why there are wedding planners and if I had the extra cash I would have hired one. My plan was to have a nice wedding that didn't break our budget. We actually pulled that off but it did take a lot of work. I plan to start writing more often. Stay tuned.

I'm Engaged!

My life changed dramatically on Thursday, June 14, 2007. My boyfriend proposed to me!

It happened at his home. We enjoyed a glass of wine (something he never usually has chilling in the ice box) and then he presented me with a dozen roses and knelt down to "pop the question". I said YES! We had dinner at the Oxford Inn in Royal Oak afterwards. The Oxford Inn is the place where we met 10 months ago. (On August 14, 2006) It is also funny that we got engaged on Flag Day. We hope to be married in April of 2008.

I must confess I'm still in shock about the whole thing. I've been single for 40 years and I have this strong image in my head of being the single gal who always longed to be married. Now that a guy has come along that is SO good for me and actually wants to keep me, I just don't know how to take it all in!

Because I've been single so long I've had to be very mindful to create a life that I love and not just sit around waiting for guys to ask me out. I really could do most anything I wanted and never had to consider someone else. (Of course I complained endlessly about being "all alone" and I guess I miss the "poor me" vibe I had going on. Funny huh?)

So I have a pretty good idea what "Single Laura" is all about but I'm not sure what "Married Laura" is yet. I know I don't want to be a bride that loses herself in all the crazy plans of a wedding. I'm really not into the wedding because it is only one day and all the hype folks put into making a fairy tale wedding seems empty to me. I'm much more interested in building a good married life together, while still keeping my own unique identity. Not sure how to do that and I've spent little time exploring this idea of what makes a good married life for me. I'm certain I'll figure it out in time.

On a sad note, a few days after my big exciting news about getting engaged I found out a friend/acquaintance of mine died. It is hard to say he was my friend because we didn't hang out and talk all the time but calling him an acquaintance seems wrong too. I've known him and his wife for 10 years and have been to their home once for a party and then would see them two or three times a year at our mutual friends (Joy and Doug's) home for parties.

His name was David Rupert and he was 41 years old he was blessed with a wonderful wife Vicki and two small children. Five weeks prior to his death he found out he had a brain tumor. My poor friend Vicki had her WHOLE world flip upside down in 5 weeks. I've never experienced such pain for anyone as I have for her loss. She LOVED that man deeply and now he is painfully missing in all our lives. We soon will have a Friday the 13th party at Joy and Doug's and I will sorely miss his quiet presence in their home. I'm so glad I had the chance to meet him. He probably never knew how many people would miss his presence in their lives.

I really feel we ALL would be shocked to learn that our life matters to more people than we know. When I think of this situation I have a loss for words .....